The "Where the hell is Modesto?" One

Let's get one thing straight, Fresno is boring.

I also have a love/hate relationship with Yelp. Yelp is awesome for finding good coffee, good food, even a good place to get your oil changed! But as a barista, I also hate yelpers that think they know something about coffee. "They didn't have a Carmel Macchiato, and NO syrups whatsoever!! How lame, I am giving them 2 stars until they can get it together", or "I'm not really a coffee drinker but...", these are the type of reviews that make up the hate portion of my relationship with Yelp; however, when it comes to the 5 days I spent in Fresno, that's part of the love relationship I have with Yelp, it lead me to Cafe Corazon.

I partially hoped that there might be a great coffee shop in Fresno, and I would have a reason to move closer to Chuck and Jill, so I anxiously drove over to Cafe Corazon. The reviews had mentioned single cup brewing and roasting in house, so I was mighty hopeful. Unfortunately, what I found at the cafe was not what I expected. Don't get me wrong, the coffee was roasted well, brewed well, and the staff of one, was a super sweet man that was obviously enjoying learning about coffee. The roaster was small, maybe a 3 kilo Deidrich roaster, they brewed on the Clever, with scales and all, and they had just received a small single group espresso machine. They weren't serving espresso yet though, they really were working on dialing in to serve good coffee. This place made me happy to have a spot to frequent in Fresno, but sad that they weren't bigger to offer a career coffee position. I bought a cup of the Honduras, which was just roasted the day before and  went back to Jill's to sleep before our trip the next morning.

We woke up, played a couple games of dominoes and headed north on the 99 towards Oakland.

While en route to Oakland, I decided to start compiling a list of all the spots I wanted to hit on my tour, and when I looked up I saw a sign that declared "Modesto 18 mi". Modesto? The last time I had even thought about Modesto was when I attended a conference there 10 years ago with my ex-boyfriend. I enjoyed it there, thought it was a cute town and loved the t-shirts they were selling that said "Where the f*ck is Modesto?". Then it hit me! I had heard that there was great coffee in Modesto! I saw an article on a place there in a Barista Magazine article last year at Coffee Fest! I Yelped it, and sure enough Serrano Social Club came up!

I was craving espresso, I had been without for almost a week! So we pulled of the exit and made our way to the Serrano Social Club! We walked in and the Baristi were super friendly, the ambiance was very "punk rock" and the coffee simply delicious! They serve multiple roasters and I had a wonderful espresso from Insight I believe, and a V60 that was brewed beautifully. The staff was super funny and intrigued with my tour plans and helpful with selection. They were even super sweet to by boy Chris, who had never been told no to a red eye, he gracefully accepted the espresso, on the side and the staff graciously sweetened his coffee with agave, he was enthralled with how good the coffee was. So much so that when we stopped on the way back, after the tour, he was drinking the coffee black, and asking questions about brewing at home, which made the staff at Serrano Social Club super happy!

All in all, Central California is vacant when it comes to good coffee, but with places like Cafe Corazon, and Serrano Social Club, I see great things in the near future for these areas, if not, I see myself frequenting these places on road trips, and recommending them to a whole lotta folk along the way.

What these first two shops showed me was this; that good coffee doesn't just happen, just like SCAA says, it takes work, and passion. Passion being the number one asset in that equation. I believe if you love whrat you do and work hard enough to become great at it, then you absolutely can not fail at following your dream. This is why while at Serrano, I dropped another resume, said my good byes and continued along the tour, not because I needed to find a job, which I did, but because I needed to find where my passion was going to fit into the scheme of things. I needed to keep going to truly discover why this journey was necessary, which is why I continue to lap my lip over great cups of joe, and continued to head north on the journey to finding out how passionate I truly am about this phenomenal industry we call Specialty Coffee...

The One Where I Ran Way

As of January 3rd, 2012  I was officially unemployed.

I've been here before, unemployed, scared, wanting to stay in coffee.

I guess a benefit of loving what you do for a living is that you know where to look for work. On the flip side of that, the coffee industry, at least the specialty coffee industry, is a hard egg to crack. Once you've worked somewhere that is "doing it right" it's nearly impossible to live with yourself and take a step backwards in to a cafe that is still serving hazelnut flavored coffee on tap, or even a place without an option for a pour over bar for that matter.

SO... the question was.. what now? I have a degree, I can go back to the corporate world of pushing paper and living 40 hours per week in a cubicle.. sure, it pays the bills; however, the movie Office Space was made for a reason.

What happens next in this tale is very typical of my life.

I left my job on the 3rd, slept all day the 4th, and on the 5th of January I made a decision to run. I packed up my good old duffel bag, which has traveled all over the country with me, loaded up my car - complete with my on the road brew bar, some snacks and I hit the road.

My intention was to pick up two of my buddies in Riverside, CA from Costa Mesa, CA and drive to Fresno for a couple of days to visit a friend of mine who just moved there with her family. They haven't been in Fresno long and were lonely for some company, so why not, right? The plan was to just visit, surprise Chuck and Jill, wait for Saturday when five more of our friends could join the party, turn around and drive the 3 hours home... simple, or so one might think.

En route to Riverside, I decided to stop at my friend Ani's house in Huntington Beach. Ani, her husband Jason and I became friends at my old shop, they had heard I was sad and distraught about work and wanted to help in anyway they could. I stopped in and we began to discuss options. I kindly explained my situation and how its super difficult to get into a good shop, even with a ton of experience. I went on to explain how small the coffee community is and even though I have a lot of connections, they were spread all over the country and I had no idea what was in store for me and my coffee future. The next thing I know, they are offering to fly me to San Francisco and Portland. Wow! They still have more confidence in my than I do...

Suddenly, I had a moment of clarity, perhaps stupidity, I'm still not sure. "GO!" is what they shouted! "Go find good coffee and apply!".. Then the hamster wheel in my brain started to accelerate. I have all my bills paid, and a severance coming, why not go? Ani and Jason handed me gas money and off I went.

I spent a week in Fresno with my friends and hit the ground running.

While in Fresno, I brewed so much coffee for my friends, talked about my career, about my dreams and aspirations and everyone of them revolved around coffee.

The decision was already made for me when I got a call back from Seattle and had an interview on that upcoming Friday... So I went. 

This is just the introduction to a series of blogs about my west coast coffee tour. . . 40 cafes in 10 days.

Fresno, Modesto, Oakland, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Santa Cruz, LA and everything in between.. Stay tuned for my experience, reviews, compliments, complaints and journey of a lone barista looking for work and finding so much more in this amazing community that we call.. Specialty Coffee.

Cheers and enjoy the coffee. 

The One WIth All The Holiday's

Anyone that works in retail knows that the holiday's are incredibly stressful.

Not including family, working in service during the holiday's in general sucks, we all want it to be over.

Sales are great, tips get better, treats are delivered DAILY, and these are the upsides to "the holiday's", the downsides are just the same for the consumer as they are for the service workers; long lines, over crowded shops, waiting lists for items on back order, and of course, there is always the never ending stream of bad Christmas music. Don't get me wrong, I adore Christmas music, but there are only so many renditions of Jingle Bells out there!

Working in coffee is great during the holidays for multiple reasons, but tonight I am focusing on one - EXPOSURE!!!!

The endless battle of finding the "perfect gift" is the biggest challenge that most people face when shopping for their friends and loved ones.

(I have my own opinions on the consumerism of Christmas, but  nonetheless, I have found myself amongst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Rushing from store to store, ordering gifts online, stressing out on what to get my boss (who has everything), and I am currently on hold with UPS because apparently they've never delivered to my work address through amazon.com - which is a total load of crap because I sign for packages from amazon.com EVERY DAY!!!)

So.. when folks wander into our shop during this season, it seems obvious to buy some coffee for gifts! Yay! However, there is no such thing as a Christmas Coffee! Sorry to let you down out there, but it's all going to taste like coffee, not Christmas, and whomever said that Christmas has a particular "taste" I'd like to sock them in the jaw. I envision Christmas tasting like Rosemary and Lindgon Berry in an herbal tonic, or like gingerbread, or eggnog, but that's all subjective and none of them are tasting profiles that I would find in coffee, even if it is call "Holiday Blend".

We also get folks that come in on a budget and want to purchase brewing equipment as a gift! Even better, I would love to have people learning and experiencing manual brewing at home! The downside is then having to explain to every customer why purchasing just a V60 is not going to work with a tea pot at home, so we refer them to a brewing workshop gift card and the cycle continues while the line (which is never ending) grows at a frightening rate!!! Nonetheless, it's exposure and we are getting specialty coffee and quality brewing into the homes of our customers, it's an amazing feeling to see that happening and that our craft is being appreciated and attempting to be duplicated on the home front.

Awesome..... work is always my highlight this time of year! People are excited about giving gifts and happy to have the help in picking them out.

I am a gift giver, I absolutely love gifting, even when it's not the "season" to do so. Most of the time I am squirreling away gifts that I find for folk all year. I am a terrible gift giver in the sense that I can not wait for you to open it!!! I never make it to Christmas.

The holiday's are also a time for reflection for me and my life as a whole. Even though I don't celebrate most holidays, I always have a list a mile long of invites and people to spend the days with. I am truly blessed, although, I don't usually feel that way. I do at work.. I feel blessed all the time their, and I think it's because I am simply doing what I love to do. So why wouldn't that seep over into my personal life, right?

After some deep thought on the issue, I have come to this conclusion. I am just lonely, but I am choosing to feel that way. Like many of us, I compare my life to my peers around me, and most people I know my age are married, with children and have "a plan". As of right now, my "plan" is about 4 months long and involves winning a regional barista competition! Big plans in my mind, but not so much in the minds of my non coffee peers. I am around so many people, I have many good friends and a ton of family, so why am I the one that feels completely alone in a room filled with people that love me?

This will be my 4th Christmas/Holiday Season as a divorcee, the first 3 were all about getting reconnected to my immediate family here on the west coast, or finding somewhere to go where I wouldn't be alone. Now, this year, it's more about being where I want to be, which may very well end up being alone. Thus we grow. It's not until now that I realized, I was letting myself feel lonely, because deep inside, I thought I needed a man to make myself feel good about the holidays, that spending it with someone would make it that much better, and in turn would make me feel better, in short I was having a pity party, party of one.

Now, as I sit in the center of my bedroom floor, with gifts and wrappings strewn about, happy that all my shopping is done, I feel complete and excited for the first time in a long time about the holidays, I am not dreading them, cursing them, or hoping that they go away. Why the change in attitude? I changed my mind about it and realized what this time of year is all about ... Sucking it up!

Besides, I needed some positive thinking to keep getting all this rad exposure.

The Bold One

"Hello! How can I help you today?" - Me

"Um, I would like a really 'Bold' cup of coffee. Do you have anything that is really 'BOLD'? Do you do that here?" - Customer


Bold.


Bold means absolutely nothing. Bupkis, if you will.

Bold is a font, a statement, an action.... not a descriptor of coffee varietals.

Not to mention that "bold" has a different meaning to every Tom, Dick and Harry that walk into my shop, or any shop for that matter!

Whenever I teach a coffee class, give a lecture or host a tasting. I go around the room and ask each person what "bold" means to them. Everyone has a slightly different answer, or they follow it up with another pet peeve of mine and say "strong". Fuck my life! Seriously? That is also an extremely ambiguous statement! Do you mean strong in caffeine? Or taste? Or body? Or acidity? Or flavor clarity? Or finish? etc. etc. etc.

Bottom line, learn what you're asking for. Even if it is a cup of coffee, ask for what you want and if you don't know (like most people - bless their hearts, most of the time they come around to be great regulars) then please, just listen to the talking person on the opposite side of the counter and respect what they are telling you! Ask questions when interested, learn something new and enjoy! These are not difficult steps to follow, especially if you happen to have a barista that is willing to walk through a decision making process with you.

In my opinion a good barista will ask you series of questions to help you to decide on a varietal of coffee for you to enjoy; however, that is assuming that the shop you are in is offering multiple varietals at that time (at my shop we have 5 to choose from), more importantly that the barista cares about the coffees and knows them intimately. These questions may include asking about acidity, body, flavor notes, etc. This job requires patience and love to help a customer choose the best cup for them on any given day, so please, pretty please with cherries on top, treat those baristas with the same respect they give you and the coffee they are serving.

I was chatting with a customer of mine the other day, one of my favorite regulars, she's in every day! We were discussing dating and I mentioned to her that in the past month I have asked out two different guys and have been rejected both times. The conversation was light hearted, not deep in anyway. I was doing my best to make light of my embarrassments, but also gain some insight as to what I was doing wrong! I said to her, "What's my problem? I'm decently looking, pretty even, I'm extremely outgoing, I have a great job, WTF!? I'm a catch! Why am I getting rejected left and right?", and she said "Where are you meeting these guys? Under what kind of circumstances did you ask them out?", at this point I figured she thought I was trying pick up lines at a bar or something, so I declared, "Here!" - - which is true. I met both of them through the shop, and one was my "crushtomer". I don't get out much and I work at least 60 hours per week and I don't really believe in internet dating, so of course, I meet people at the shop, some of my good friends I met through shops, why not a date? Suddenly she replied "Wow, you're BOLD"! Bold, really?

I guess I am kind of.... bold.

But what does that mean? Again, it's such an ambiguous term!!!

All my life I've been told that men want strong, independent women, non clingy women, out going women, confident women, right? So do those attributes not encompass the meaning of the word "bold"?

We continued our conversation for a bit longer when another one of my staff came in and joined in the conversation. As we wound down, she looked at me and said something I've heard my entire life, "Well, you just have a really strong personality and that can be intimidating".

Specialty coffee can be intimidating. Choose a coffee, choose a brew method, understand extraction,  know brewing ratios, understand grinding, water temperatures, agitation, timing, dosing, etc. But a person, a female going out on a limb to ask you out? Is that intimidating, really?

If that was the case and coffee was as intimidating as I am perceived to be, then I would never have fallen in love with my job and learned so much! Why can't someone take that chance on me? Or is that question a bit too, bold?

The One With All The Confidence

In life confidence is paramount.

When I first became a barista I had very little confidence in making coffee. It was a new job, I didn't know what I was doing and the first shop I worked at provided little to no training. After working at several shops (non that would not be considered specialty coffee), I was pretty confident I could work anywhere that served coffee.

The Dripolator, in Black Mountain, NC changed that for me. I walked into that shop very full of myself. I was convinced that I could do anything that was thrown my way. Then, I saw my very first Rosetta. I was no longer confident in my skills whatsoever. I was determined at that point to be the best. My Grandmother used to tell me that old saying, "If you're going to be a ditch digger, be the best ditch digger you can be", or something along those lines. SO, I did.

I became a youtube junkie! I watched every video on latte art I could find. From free pour to etching, throw downs to regional competitions! I went as far as to purchase a $70 training video dedicated strictly to latte art.

My coffee knowledge grew, my art got better and before I knew it I was the best in the shop and winning our throw downs! I started training others and helping them to improve their skills. My confidence in coffee was higher than ever! So much so I started competing in regionals and landed better jobs with larger and higher quality shops and roasters.

In my personal life I am damn confident, at least that's the front I put on. On any given day I could really care less what people think about me, unless you're a good looking guy that catches my eye, then I  do my best to act like I don't care what you think, while trying to get you to think about me.

Here's the kicker; as long as I am behind the bar, I'm fine. I am charismatic, funny, intriguing, flirtatious, calm, cool, collected and above all confident; however, the moment I step out from behind the counter my spine turns to jelly and I get goosepimply all over. My composure is non existent and I go into that very uncomfortable realm of trying too hard. Once in that realm there's no coming back. My mind begins to race and I immediately feel guilty for all the times I've judged and ridiculed others for their interactions with the opposite sex. The hope is that on the outside, I am portraying confidence, not the extreme fear of rejection.

Let me preface the upcoming story with this; I have been divorced for 3 years. I have dated one guy, and that wasn't until this past year, before then I lived in yoga pants and did nothing for my appearance, the vibe I was putting out was, "stay away"! Since then, I've come back to reality - form fitting clothing, showers, make up and confidence.

At work when I pull a perfect extraction of espresso, pour a perfect rosetta, glide through jamming out 30 tickets with no long ticket times and every one walks away happy, I have the overwhelming sensation of, "I'm good at this". It's probably the way Kobe Bryant feels when he scores for the Lakers and makes the perfect pass, perfect three pointer, etc. Just over flowing with confidence.

Also at work, the few women there have come up with an awesome name for the customers that we think are good looking, they are our "crushtomers". Given that I work 50-60 hours per week I don't get out much, work it where I meet people.

Well, in short, I mustered up all the confidence in my being to ask one of my crushtomers to hang out with me outside of the shop. Jimmeny Crickets!!! First, I felt empowered and, of course confident! Then I immediately regretted the decision and fell into the awkward realm. Worst of all, I was so ambiguous about the invitation, I'm not even sure he realized what my intentions were. Regardless, confidence went right down the drain. Why can't this be as easy as pouring a five heart tulip in a six ounce cappuccino cup?

Regardless of what happens, I feel as though life is full of unknowns and challenges, therefore, risks and rejection are what help us as individual grow into where we're suppose to be... which is right where my feet are, the here and the now. I mean, c'mon, what would've happened if years ago I had no confidence to try competing at Latte Art Challenges? I wouldn't know where to improve on my craft, I wouldn't know how to maintain my composure and move with grace and dignity while competing. Now, if my crushtomer could just give me a score sheet on how I did: points I missed, skill set, presentation and where to improve, I can get more practice and try again next time. Too bad there's no $70 instructional video on this on Amazon.

The One Where Everybody Knows My Name....

Walking into a coffeehouse is like walking into my own living room.

No matter which shop it is, no matter if I've been there before, no matter if the coffee is terrific, or terrible; whenever I walk into a coffee establishment a sense of ease and comfort encompasses my entire being.

Another reason that I LOVE being in the specialty coffee industry is that it's a community. As a barista, and a Barista Guild of America member, I get to visit all types of shops around the country, especially here in Southern California. LA is definitely NOT San Francisco, Portland or Seattle, never mind Orange County! With that being said, we have some amazing shops that I've had the privilege of attending.

Intelligensia, Cafe Dulce, Spring for Coffee, Paper and Plastiks, Coffee Brew Bar, Alta, ad infinitum. Whenever I walk into these shops (among many other independents) I feel at home, because I get to see these houses of coffee worship in the eyes of a barista, or a coffee deacon if you will.

I get to check out all the different equipment, how they use the equipment I have, taste new coffees, compare techniques, share experiences, teach something, learn something, pour lattes, taste signature beverages, swap competition war stories and common customer complaints, complain about customers, tell stories about our favorite regulars, debate EVERYTHING and discuss industry standards (and criticize the standards and how they are just that, standards, not the end all be all of coffee - but that's another blog all together). The best comparison I can make is this - a barista walking into another coffee shop is like a fanboy walking into Comi-con San Diego... we've arrived amongst OUR people, finally! Yes, I just called us all geeks, but I am proud to be a coffee geek.

The coffee industry is also a very small community. It may not seem like it to an outsider, but we are! Those of us that are involved with the BGA or SCAA, we all know each other, know of each other or will meet each other because our events and conferences are attended by "regulars". The same way we have regulars come into our shops, this is the way we all attend these events, regularly! For example, once you've joined the Barista Exchange (which is like a Facebook for coffee people) you'll notice the same people responding as well. If you subscribe to Fresh Cup, Barista Magazine or other coffee media, a lot of the same people submit articles! People that win competitions, work for awesome importers, give certification exams, respond to posts on the exchange, write books, submit articles, host lectures, teach classes and attend SCAA and BGA events; theses are all the people that we as mere baristi remember. I personally remember other baristas that have challenged me, inspired me, had incredible talent or simply stood out from the crowd! The really "famous" ones, like Pete Licata, Heather Perry, Mike Philips, Lorenzo Perkins, Chris Baca... I like to call these folks "coffeelebrities".

Walking into another shop that knows me is the kindling to the fire in my soul.

I am definitely NOT a coffeelebrity... yet, but I do my part to visit a lot of shops, participate in events, host classes, guest barista and participate in growing our trade - in short, there are people out there that know me and treat me like a "regular" in the industry. That feeling is indescribable.

En route home from Las Vegas last week, after I saw the shooting star and after having my moment of clarity about my life, I made an executive decision - I was taking a 40 mile detour to Redlands to visit the amazing crew at Augie's Coffeehouse.

I was still pretty emotionally drained from all my new found realities about my life, but as I pulled into the parking lot of Augie's, that sense of ease and comfort came over me... I was home.

Please, keep in mind that I had only met a few of the Augie's crew just a week or two before at the throw down my shop hosted. They were really cool people and they gave me the most amazing compliment! - Some of the staff told me I was "Winnie Cooper" hot! Slap me silly and call me Winnie! For my generation, that's super sweet! I am suppose to host lecture and guest barista there sometime this month, so why not stop and get the lay out, right?

I walked into the shop and two of the four folks I had met were there to greet me. I was greeted with smiles, hugs, excitement and so much coffee love!

All of the discoveries I had made about my life came to materialize in that very moment. Nothing mattered but playing on their machine, making drinks, swapping brew method theory, trading coffees and enjoying the here and the now, with a completely delicious espresso (which Augie's has!).  I had such fun with the Augie's crew and their coffee was awesome! Nothing beats great service with great coffee to compliment a cozy environment, not to mention, they are geeks, just like me. I even got invited to a Harry Potter Christmas party!! Isn't that delicious??!!

In short, through all the emotional chaos I had been through that week, all the soul searching, tears, laughter and discovery, all I needed to do was go home to where everybody knew my name, Alex, Ms. LittleJohn if you're nasty!


Thanks to Augie's for being my kindling on a cold November evening; the fire will live to burn another day.

The Delicious One

Delicious. 

Everything that is good in life can be described in one word - delicious. 

"That guy is SO delicious", "What a delicious Costa Rica!", "How was everything? - Delicious!"

I get into these funks where I use one word WAY too much. When I was 20, I said "word" after everything. In college, my favorite adjective in college was "uber", and last year everything I thought was worth talking about was categorized as "legit". Nowadays, everything is delicious. 

Why delicious? Food, coffee, smoking, a good looking guy, a car or a sweater I want, all are described as delicious for one reason, I am hungry. 

The greatest thing about being a barista and being a part of the specialty coffee industry is that there is always something to learn, try, change, make better, debate and essentially do in your own way. 

Years ago, when I was first getting into the realm of SCAA (Specialty Coffee Association of America) standards and amazing coffee, I was STARVED for knowledge. Not only was I starved for knowledge, but I was starved for someone to step in and teach me. For the knowledge, I became full quickly, it was a   lot to digest, but for the teacher she never came. Now, don't get it twisted, I had a lot of wonderful people in my life that pointed me in the direction for an education on coffee, but mostly they all had opinions that they were portraying as facts. They were putting on a hell of a front too! In the position I am in now, I do my very best to let folk know that what I am teaching them is strictly my opinion and that opinion was gained from experience and experience alone. 

Back to being hungry. 

Now, especially if you know me, you know that I am WELL fed, and am not malnourished in anyway, especially in the realm of coffee. But it's not about being well fed, or just full enough in my opinion. In coffee, it's like eating chinese food, you're always hungry in a few hours. So, I search, I ask questions, and I encourage the people I work with and my friends and family to seek as well. 

In the area of needs being met, I am never going to go hungry; that includes, food, shelter, even most of my "wants" are met; except when it comes to that companion of the opposite sex. Please, don't look at this as a cry for you to set me up with your friends, or introduce me to that other person you know is divorced to see if we have sparks!!!! However, it's been almost 3 years since I've been divorced and my gut is GROWLING for some of that kind of attention! 

How do I know that this is just hunger of a want an not a need? - this is how:

Last week over the holiday, I went to Las Vegas. I went by myself and spent the majority of the 4 days I was there solo, and I had a ball! I did everything I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, of course with my entire home brewing kit with me!

So, the last day I was in Vegas I knew that if I did not get on the road early it was going to take me at least 6 hours vs. the 3.5 hours it usually takes to get home, but I got a case of the "F-it's! I decided instead to sleep in, make myself 3 cups of Brazil Micro-lot (from the Minussi Estate), watch TV (since I don't own one myself), and order in room service! After breakfast and check out, I went to the Bellagio to see the seasonal "Bellagio Gardens". It was magnificent! The only problem with traveling alone is being forced to ask strangers to take your picture, but no problem, everyone I asked politely took the shot and rejoined their families. 

While at the Bellagio, I took 2 hours to stroll the gardens, walk through and appreciate a photography exhibit, and attend the Monet gallery. With my coffee by my side, I got lost in the art and beauty of the hotel. On my way out I treated myself to my first taste of gelato, pumpkin-deliciousness!!

I embarked on my journey home to find the expected traffic jam. At that moment I started to reflect on my trip. I had a ball, yes, but there was no one there to witness this fun I was having. Did I need someone to validate my fun? Was I lonely? No, just comparing myself to others, which never ends well. 

I stopped at Peggy Sue's 50's diner, and by this time, I was well into self-pity via morbid reflection at that point in the trip.  I stopped there because I wanted to see the Diner-saur park that I had seen on my many drives to Las Vegas, plus I had just dressed up as a dinosaur for Halloween!  Fun, right? 

 

Yes, it was fun, but I started to see everyone traveling with family or a significant other. They all seemed as though they were enjoying the trip SO much more with someone to enjoy it with. Then, like all good hopeless romantics, I started to think about my ex-husband. The week before Thanksgiving I had found out through the family grapevine that my ex-husband was getting remarried to a 22 year old, that he also knocked up; that they were very much in love and he was elated with the news of being a father. 

Walking through Peggy Sue's I began to romanticize the marriage I once had. I thought of how much in love I was, how good he looked, how happy I was, and how much I wanted children. It seemed like a life time ago and in the Brady Bunch section of the gift shop I began to cry quietly to myself.,

Suddenly it hit me and my head started talking to me, "HE would have hated the diner, HE would think it was cheezy and lame, HE hated Las Vegas, HE never would have LET me stop, HE did not appreciate coffee the way I did, and HE was getting what he wanted! I should be happy I dodged the bullet and didn't end up pregnant and 22 in North Carolina! Where would I be then? Still waiting tables at the Cracker Barrel, with 2,3 or 4 kids, broke and working at the local coffee shop... simply for sanity and to not forget the smell of it brewing early in the morning, or what a portafilter smells like after it's been cleaned with puro-caff!" - My mind works quickly like that sometimes, one extreme to the other in under 10 seconds. So I bought a hand dipped malt, chocolate, and walked out of Peggy Sue's go head home. 

Immediately after leaving Peggy Sue's, I put on my favorite Old Crow Medicine Show song, and sang at the top of my lungs! I missed the South, but I loved my life! I would not starve myself spiritually to feed another persons needs for completion. At the very moment I started to think of how hungry I was for a delicious man in my life, a shooting star appeared right in front of me! I frantically searched for a wish that was worthy of such a rare sight! - Regardless if it loses it's merit, I will share with my readers that my wish was to stay at my job forever and win the World Barista Cup!!! - I guess I am not as starved for a mate as I thought I was. 

If in a frenzy of honesty, wishing upon a star I wished for THAT? Coffee forever? World Champion? - Now, isn't that simply... delicious?